A Father's Love

One year ago my life took a dramatic turn. Every.single.day I see the look on the Dr's face as he told me that my Father had passed away. Every.single.day I feel the lack of emotion for the first few moments and then the overwhelming sensation that my world was falling apart. My Father was the most amazing man in my life. I miss him. I've never missed anyone or anything to the degree that I miss my Dad.

August 9, 1935 - December 30, 2008

No words I write can ever say

How much I miss you everyday

As time goes by, the lonliness grows

How I miss you, nobody knows

I think of you in silence,

I often speak your name

But all I have are memories

And photos in a frame

No one knows my sorrow

No one sees me weep

But the love I have for you

Is in my heart to keep

I've never stopped loving you

I'm sure I never will

Deep inside my heart

You are with me still

Heartaches in this world are many

But I feel like mine is worse than any

My heart still aches as I whisper low

"I need you and I miss you so"

The things we feel so deeply

Are often the hardest to say

But I just can't keep quiet anymore

So I'll tell you anyway

There is a place in my heart

That no one else can fill

I love you so, Dad

And I always will

~ Author Unknown ~

Withdrawls

What's a week without eating out? Whether it be my favorite fast food ...

Or our trips to the local brewery ...

We eat out WAY too much! But when I'm not up for cooking, it's an easy way to get dinner on the table. One of my 101 goals was to not eat out for a week. On Friday I realized it had been several days since eating out. I knew then I could pull this one off. So here I am! Another goal to cross off the list. I think we'll have In-n-out for dinner tomorrow though ;)

Finally a Mason!

For years, James has talked of joining the Mason's. After all, if it weren't for our Masonic background, we never would have met. (Robert gets a little credit too!) The Mason's require you to be a resident of the state where the Lodge is located for one year before being able to submit your application. The residency requirement proved to be a little difficult with our constant relocations with the Navy. After the required time limit, James finally received his first degree on December 22, 2009. As a 4th generation Mason, I'm really proud of James for embarking on this journey. Thank you babe for choosing to be a part of my Dad's Lodge. The little things you do make me incredibly happy!

A man's dinner!

Dawn gave me a cookbook for Christmas so I was anxious to try a new recipe. Boy did I try the right one! Nothing like making a yummy dinner that James will eat seconds and thirds of. Easy too! So I thought I would share.

Ingredients
1 large onion (I used a sweet/yellow onion)
2 or 3 lbs of cube steak (I used 1 1/2)
1 stick of butter
Lemon pepper
Seasoned salt
Black pepper
Tabasco sauce
Worcestershire sauce
4 to 6 french rolls

Before I get started, first I must give a sales pitch. Do you own a cast iron skillet? If not, BUY ONE!!! It's a must. I enjoy my nonstick pans but I love my cast iron skillets - I have four!

1. Slice the onion (I really need pictures for this)
2. Melt 1/4 stick butter in a skillet over medium heat .
3. Add the onion and cook over medium-low heat, stirring occassionally, unit they are soft and light brown, about 10 minutes.
4. Remove the onion from the pan and set aside.
5. Cut the cube steak, against the grain, into 1-inch strips (I did this step and the next while my onions were cooking).
6. Season the meat with seasoned salt, lemon pepper and black pepper.
7. Add 2 tablespoons of butter to the same skillet you cooked the onion. Turn the heat to high. Let the butter begin to turn brown, about 2 minutes.
8. Add enough meat to the skillet to form a single layer. Let it sit for about a minute then using a spatula, flip the meat over. Cook for another minute then remove to a plate. Repeat until all the meat is cooked.
9. Return all the meat to the skillet and add the onion. Pour in Worcestershire sauce, several dashes of tabasco and an additional 2 tablespoons of butter. Simmer the mixture over low heat for about 5 mintues to throughly warm.
10. Cut the rolls in half, spread with butter and brown in a seperate skillet.
11. Serve! Make sure you put 3 or 4 spoonfulls of the pan juices over the meat.

The man in your life will love you forever!

Check, check and check! (101 update)

It appears I have lots to update you on!

Number 77 - Write a letter of thanks to a military member, someone I don't know
I took on a little project, something a bit more than I planned on. Several years ago I heard about Soldier's Angels so when I decided to write a note of thanks this was the first place I headed to. Rather than one letter, I decided to adopt a soldier. This means constant notes in the mail and a care package here and there. I'm having a blast shopping for care packages - just like the days James was in the Navy. It's a little tougher this time around. I'm essentially putting together a package for a complete stranger. Hopefully in the coming weeks he has some time to write back and give me some hints as to what he'd like or what he needs. Until then, I'll send random goodies and necessities. Definitely take the time to show your appreciation to our military community, whether it be the military members themselves or their family. They need the emotional support around the holidays, more than ever!

Number 100 - Take a daily vitamin everyday for a month
Boring thing, I know. But it is a habit that I need to take part it. With several things on my 101 list, I know that the time limit establishes my need to start a habit. I've been taking my vitamin every single day. Now I just need to stick with it!

Number 13 - Send out Christmas cards
I'm a tad bit obsessed with receiving Christmas cards in the mail. LOVE them! What better way to receive more cards than to spread the cheer? We went to the Christmas musical at Church and so was my perfect opportunity to get a picture of James in something besides a t-shirt. Amanda was our professional photographer and took our picture. The next day I ordered the cards and some festive postage. Two days later I had my cards but no postage. So I waited and waited and waited. After several calls to the post office and various answers as to policy of when they would arrive, I gave up! Off to the post office I went (not the time of year to go!). I purchased my postage, found a table and stickered my envelopes then off in the mail they went. Merry Christmas to everyone!!!

Number 79 - Help James join the Mason's
More on this tomorrow!

Thanksgiving

Just a few people that I'm thankful for ...

An Impact

This blog will often serve as a place for me to let go of my emotions, focusing on the passing of my Dad. I think (and I hope) it will help the healing process. Some days are miserable without him, other days I laugh at the corny jokes I hear myself repeating or hear him saying and the best days are when I learn of a new person whom his story impacted.

My Dad didn't care for Doctor's. He challenged their diagnosis and would often make a decision going against their recommendation. After my Dad's trip to the hospital for being highly anemic, my Dad met Dr. Fong. He and Dad hit it off! Dr. Fong invested in my Dad's health and they worked together to find the cause of my Dad's constant anemia. I had the pleasure to meet Dr. Fong the day my Dad endured his first heart attack. I'm not even sure how to describe the man - dynamic? What really struck my heart was when we received a letter from him after Dad passed away. It took me several tries to decipher his writing ... the challenges of a Dr's handwriting.

The Fish family - I was saddened to witness the passing of your father, Ed. He was a great guy and I will miss him. It was always a pleasure seeing Ed. He was jovial, a good story teller and fun to be around. He was like an old buddy. My thoughts are with you during this difficult time. If there is anything I can do for you, please do not hesitate to ask. With deepest sympathy - Warren Fong

For months, I have meant to send a note to Dr. Fong for being the Dr. my Dad could count on. I know that my Dad was unconscious during his last hour of life but I cannot tell you how comforting it is to know that Dr. Fong was present when he passed away. Though there was a room full of medical strangers, there was also a friend. Today I sent a note to Dr. Fong. Thank you ... for your emotional connection to your career, your attentive medical care and your friendship to my Father. I will forever be grateful!

101 Goals in 1001 Days

Today begins an interesting journey, thanks to Haley and Ann. They've each started a list of 101 goals to complete in 1001 days. A tad bit overwhelming but what the heck, I might as well join in. I was surprised how quickly my list took shape. I'm sure you'll hear a little bit more as I cross off each goal. It's going to be a BUSY 1001 days!

I completed my first goal yesterday, November 18, 2009 so I have until August 15, 2012 to cross everything off my list.

1 - Have a baby (completed 11/9/11)
2 - Complete my dad's estate (completed 11/22/10)
3 - Buy a house (completed 3/11/11)
4 - Start my own company = find a job (completed 4/25/10)
5 - Have a house warming party
6 - Go to Hawaii for my 30th birthday (completed 2/12/11)
7 - Go on a houseboating trip
8 - Visit South Dakota (completed 11/22/10)
9 - Pay off all credit card debt (completed 12/1/10)
10 - Go on a girl's trip to Palm Springs (completed 9/26/10)
11 - Knock off 15 pounds
12 - Write a family Christmas letter
13 - Send out Christmas cards (completed 12/21/09)
14 - Have Sheridan and Garrett spend a month in California
15 - Learn how to paint my own toenails
16 - Complete Class 301 (completed 1/10/10)
17 - Complete Class 401
18 - Race the Neon in Vegas
19 - Start a prayer journal (completed 12/2/09)
20 - Dye my hair brown (completed 11/20/10)
21 - Fix the kegerator
22 - Buy season tickets to the Ducks (completed 9/22/10)
23 - Go on a bike ride
24 - Visit Uncle Donnie
25 - Research where I want to get my Master's
26 - Worry less!
27 - Stop using the snooze button (complete)
28 - Join Eastern Star
29 - Clip coupons
30 - Go camping
31 - Volunteer at a shelter
32 - Take 5 friends to Church (completed)
33 - Make pierogies (completed 12/27/09)
34 - Learn how to make Marguerite's tamales
35 - Spend more time studying the Bible (completed)
36 - Visit Grandma and Grandpa's gravesites
37 - Go for a walk at the beach
38 - Have a bonfire (complete 4/23/10)
39 - Go on a picnic
40 - Take more pictures
41 - Learn how to scuba dive
42 - Go to a concert
43 - Go to Five Crown's (completed 6/18/10)
44 - Visit Nana's gravesite
45 - Have the sofa fixed (completed 3/15/11)
46 - Go on a charity/fundraising walk (completed 10/9/10)
47 - Donate blood
48 - Sponsor an underprivileged child
49 - Go cherry picking
50 - Make a photo quilt
51 - Read a book in a day (completed 1/9/10)
52 - Find a small group (completed 7/22/11)
53 - Carve a pumpkin (completed 10/28/10)
54 - Setup our own Christmas tree (completed 12/10/11)
55 - Make dad's famous cheesecake
56 - Send a message in a bottle
57 - Grow a vegetable
58 - Tell Joe that I love him ... often (complete)
59 - Go parasailing
60 - Eat as a vegetarian for a week
61 - Encourage others to make a 101 list
62 - Fly first class
63 - Host a cookie exchange
64 - Complete a hard sudoku puzzle in less than 30 minutes (completed 11/18/09)
65 - Play the lottery
66 - Make jam, can it and give away (completed 11/14/10)
67 - Fly a kite
68 - Make a custard pie for Gordan
69 - Read a book on investing in the stock market
70 - Make love everyday for a week (completed)
71 - Visit Ashley in San Diego (completed 1/16/10)
72 - Start saving 10% of our income
73 - Start a blog (completed 11/19/09)
74 - Visit James family more
75 - Buy a jacuzzi once we own a house
76 - Send Glenn a care package in Rome (completed 12/28/10)
77 - Write a letter to a military member, someone I don't know (completed 11/26/09)
78 - Host a holiday dinner with both our families
79 - Help James join the Mason's (completed 12/22/09)
80 - Don't eat out for one week (completed 12/28/09)
81 - Take a road trip to San Francisco
82 - Eat a tootsie pop without biting it (completed 7/30/10)
83 - Thank a special person
84 - Take a belly dancing class
85 - Spend a weekend at Aunt Pat's Mexico house
86 - Make a donation in Dad's name
87 - Make breakfast for dinner (complete 3/12/10)
88 - Eat dessert before dinner (completed 8/3/11)
89 - Write a letter to Dr. Fong (completed 11/25/09)
90 - Write a business plan = draft a resume (completed 3/1/10)
91 - Make prime rib
92 - Go through mom's recipes and make a book of those I want to keep
93 - Put dad's buttons in a shadow box for display
94 - Take chocolate chip cookies to Bill (completed 12/23/09)
95 - Try out acupuncture
96 - Take dancing lessons with James
97 - Touch my toes, without bending my knees
98 - Shoot a gun
99 - Go roller skating
100 - Take a daily vitamin everyday for a month (completed 12/20/09)
101 - Plan a bridal shower, baby shower or bachelorette party

Number 73 ... CHECK!

(We'll come back to the blog title later.)

Once again I've been suckered into another web based black hole! AOL, myspace, facebook and now blogging! Several friends have blogs and I love keeping up with their daily excitement. So begins my journey. Here we go ....